baby · family · parenting · personal

A letter to my daughter for International Womens Day

Dear Eleanor.

On international women’s day I can’t help thinking about what kind of a woman you will be when you are older.

As any mother would, I have all these hopes for you. I hope you grow to be clever, courageous and kind. I hope you grow to be strong, smart and generous. I hope you grow to always love your family, to help your friends and to always find the good in the bad. I hope you laugh lots, I hope you know it’s safe to express yourself, I hope you follow your dreams and know it’s okay if you don’t always achieve them.

I want you to know I’ll always love you, never judge you and you always have my support. I’ll hold you up when you’re down, I’ll laugh with you when you’re happy and cry with you when you’re sad. I’ll be there to embarrass you when you bring your first love home – no matter what gender they are, all I’ll be there with a box of tissues should they break your heart.

I’ll always be your best friend and help you see the beauty in being a woman – if that’s what gender you feel you are.

You are incredible and one day you could change the world, and I’ll be there by your side.

I can’t wait to see the woman you will become, but for now I’m just enjoying my wonderful toddler who always makes my day and amazes me with her intelligence, her spirit and her loving nature.

Eleanor Bridie Lister you are my greatest piece of art and I love you dearly.

Happy International Women’s Day! 

baby · parenting · personal

Who’s baby? My Babiie! My Babiie MB200 Rose Gold/Blush Review.

Hi All!

It seems to me that every mum that I meet has a complete and utter obsession with prams. I’ve heard of mums going through 6-7-8 prams per child! For me I spent a long time choosing my perfect pram and I originally had a Venicci polka-dot travel system which I absolutely loved. As Eleanor got bigger and I started venturing out with her more without putting her into the car seat on wheels I realised how much effort and bulky a travel system is. I would never be able to drop it down on a bus if needed and we really struggled to get it into our car at the time and still have space for anything else. I decided to get a stroller and got a second hand Cosatto which I wasn’t crazy about and I quickly re-sold it. I then decided for Eleanors birthday to get a My Babiie MB51 in pink/grey chevron which both Eleanor and I completely loved.

Last year we were going on holiday and Eleanor was starting to get a little bit long for her MB51 and so I decided I’d go on holiday and then buy a new one when we returned, that way if anything happened to the pram whilst on holiday we would still be getting a new one. We were very lucky on holiday and our pram still came back in great condition and so we sold it on to make space for our new one!

I knew straight away I wanted another My Babiie. I had trust in the brand and Eleanor had always been cosy and comfy in hers. I also had got a ton of compliments about the pram from strangers and really loved the designs. I decided to go for the MB200 as it was a bit bigger and I wanted to go for a U shaped fold rather than an umbrella fold so it was easier to store at home. When choosing a design I never hesitated – I was definitely sold on the blush and rose gold. Blush and rose gold are two of my favourite colours and the pram that I chose is so stunning.

I did however have a bit of a mess around getting it. The hype for the pram was crazy and places were selling out thick and fast. Thankfully, I managed to get one from ASDA online and it was shipped quickly to my home address.

The delivery day arrived and I quickly unboxed it and slid it together. I was even more impressed with it in person and it certain looks more luxury than it did online.

I soon got to grips (literally) with the new handle and adjusted it to size and had a little push around my living room. It was smooth, easy to push and quite lightweight for its size.


Next I put it side by side with my old pram and looked at the differences. The MB200 has a wider and taller seat, more luxury fabrics and a much nicer finish. The wheels are higher quality and the bumper bar is one full piece not folding like the MB51.

I then looked at how I would store my new pram and was pleased to see it folded quite small and stood up itself. This now lives under the breakfast bar where my old fridge sat and is neatly tucked away.

I couldn’t wait to take it for a spin and we headed out that evening for a walk around Teesside Park whilst I pushed my new prized possession.

I’ve always loved having a fur on my pram and I quickly ordered a matching fur and personalised pom-pom from Big Mamas Baby Boom which I would highly recommend as the service was prompt and my fur is such great quality. I really love the pom-pom, which has survived all sorts of toddler messes and is still going strong!


I was so pleased with it once the fur arrived, but more importantly Eleanor has loved it since it arrived. She ran over and climbed straight into it the day it arrived and sat for quite a while watching a movie happily tucked up into it.

She has always managed to sleep in it and drops off quite easily in the padded seat. This makes life much easier when you’re out for the day as she can be quite ratty without a decent sleep. The hood fully extends so she can snooze in peace without having any sun/wind/people disturbing her. Thankfully there’s a little viewing window so I can still check on her and make sure she’s okay.

I love this pram. I get a ton of compliments and always see a lot of people looking over and talking about it. Apart from it being pretty, it’s also super practical. It’s comfy, easy and lovely to push, super simple to fold down and up and even has a carry handle. My only negative with it is I wish it had a toddler sized cosy-toes that went with it as the apron velcro isn’t the longest and can often be a pain to get on – but that’s only a tiny thing. Oh and a matching bag would be a dream!

Sadly this will probably be Eleanors last pram, and what a pram it is. If I was to have another baby I would most definitely have another My Babiie and really like the look of the travel systems. They’re really affordable and for the price are really great quality.

Let me know below if you love my pram or have any thoughts on My Babiie!

Thanks for reading,

Hannah xx

home · personal · review

Photowall* Fab Fat Mama Reviews.

Hi all!

Some of you may know that I absolutely love home decor and doing up houses. I love to express my personal style over my home by putting my stamp on it and I tend to go for bold colours and prints against a backdrop of grey. I’m so obsessed with grey, I literally have it in every room in my house. The only room that is grey free is the bathroom which was tiled before we moved in – however we bought grey towels.

I’m always looking for ways to add to my home and to make it more personal to us, and so I was super pleased when the lovely Christine from Photowall got in touch and offered me either wallpaper of my choice or a canvas.

I’m not going to lie, It took me quite a long time to decide what to get. I was pretty sad that I’d just bought wallpaper to re-do our living room and here I was hit with loads of amazing choices that I could of had but I got over it when I saw the canvas selection.

I ended up choosing a canvas because I love having images of my family around the house and I didn’t really have an up to date one. As we had just been on holiday it seemed the perfect chance to get one of our images blown up so we could keep the memory going.

I was pleasantly surprised how easy it was to actually order the canvas and the number of different custom sizes you could choose from. It’s not in regimented sizes, you can pretty much choose what you want and you can crop parts from your image and move your selection around.

I chose one of the smaller sizes available, put the crop selection to the part of the image I wanted and ordered the canvas as well as a D I Y kit to make it at home.

My canvas came pretty speedily in a long box. I knew there was going to be some building involved and so I set everything out ready to go!

I rolled out the canvas and was really shocked at how good the quality was as I’d sent quite a bad image and thought it might not come out so great. I set this on the table to straighten out whilst I unpacked the rest of the pieces.

The D I Y kit contained some side pieces which had been pre-taped, some metal brackets and some plastic ended screws. This meant that you didn’t actually need any physical tools to put together the canvas which I thought was a really great idea.

I consulted the instructions and decided to just go for it. It seemed pretty straight forward to put together and the instructions were very helpful.

I got the wooden pieces on pretty easily. I made sure to leave a lip each side with the canvas and rolled it round the corner of the wood which it shows on the instructions. This helped to line up the wood and the bits of tape stuck together when the wood rolled in. I put the wood on the edges of the canvas and once all 4 pieces were on it was time to roll them in together and meet the corners.

Once rolled in, they were secured together using the metal brackets and screws. I found the easiest way to do this was to only screw in a little bit so there was some flexibility and then once all the screws were in to then tighten them. I managed to do this myself and finally the canvas was together.

I always knew where I wanted to put the canvas, which was at the top of my stairs on a patch of wall with nothing much around it. I didn’t actually mount it as we’re waiting to re-paint the wall but I actually like it here on the top of the drawers. It puts a smile on my face every morning when I step out of my bedroom and I’ve had so many compliments on it so far.

I would definitely use Photowall again in the future as their delivery was so quick and the product is really good quality. I would love to try their personalised wallpaper which I think sounds amazing and could be a great way to get a really unique look for your home. I can imagine scanning in Eleanors artwork when she’s older and decorating a play room with it – that would be so cool and cute!

If you would like to try Photowall they’ve got a black friday deal on for the next couple of days. You can use the code blackfriday17 for 25% off!

Thank you so much to Photowall for gifting me the canvas. As much as I was given the item for free, the words in this review are all my own and they are my own opinions.

Thanks for reading!

Hannah xx

fashion · personal · plus size · wedding

Plus Size Wedding Prep. Spend VS Save

Hi all!

I’ve always been one who loves to try to do things herself, especially when there’s some money to be saved. However, I do feel that sometimes it’s nice to have somebody else do things and leave the stress to them.

In August I attended two weddings. One was my brother Shaun and his now wife Anna, and one was a work friend of Adams. I’ll admit I was shocked I was invited to the full event with me not actually meeting his friend or the bride, but I was grateful to be asked along and happily attended as Adams plus one.

Before the weddings I was having a conversation with my cousin about just how much weddings cost and you don’t realise how much you pay out just as a guest. This set something off in my mind and I thought I would challenge myself to do an old vs new. So, for one wedding I would get my hair/makeup/nails etc done and buy a whole new outfit and then for the other I would do my hair and makeup myself and shop my own wardrobe for a dress!

Now I know personally which look I preferred, and I know which got the most comments etc on the day, but please do let me know below which look you preferred first!

Wedding one – Spend!
Of course I chose my brothers wedding to be the one I splashed out on. I did this for a few reasons. My mum was also getting her hair/makeup done, I had Eleanor to consider so had less time to get ready and I wanted to look my best for my brother.


My dress was from Little Mistress via ASOS and originally £62, however I did get it on sale and then used ASOS vouchers I had saved up. I wore my fave flatforms (also ASOS) and carried a beautiful beaded bag with chandelier style beading hanging from it.


I loved this dress as it was modest, but not too covered. It was incredibly soft and comfortable and very much “my” style. The tulle straps and top of the dress were my favourite and I felt very girly and ethereal throughout the day.

My makeup was done by an old friend from college who decided to re-train as a MUA. I chose her because I found her makeup style to be very natural but still with an impact. I went for a smokey eye, strong brow and pinky/nude lip and quite honestly loved the look.

My hair on the other hand wasn’t what I asked for, and this is after asking for it to be changed. I had originally asked for a beehive style front, with braiding around the sides into the back and then the hair in a chignon. Instead she fish braided my hair using plastic hair ties and then tucked the bottom up in a weird bulky bun. I didn’t like this at all and asked for it to be changed, but didn’t have time to change the full thing as she was already running 40 minutes behind and I was late for the MUA. My mum actually had to leave me at the hairdressers and get her makeup done first as it was taking so long.
I asked for the plait to be changed more like a bun and the lady did this which I did like more but still wasn’t what I had in mind. Still, it looked pretty and went with the flowers I’d bought to pop in (again from ASOS). Untangling it and those plastic ties however – wasn’t very fun!


Some more snaps from the day! It was such a beautiful day and so special. I was so glad to spend it with the people I love and felt confident and happy in my outfit choice.

Wedding two – Save!

The second wedding we went to was a friend of Adams. I was actually quite surprised to be invited to the whole event as I’d not met the bride or groom, but thankful to be going along as Adams plus one all the same. I actually ended up getting to know some really wonderful people who were all so kind and complimentary and I had a really great time. So if you’re reading this Kieran & Aimee, thank you for having me – I had a blast!

For this wedding I decided to go for the save option and did my own hair and makeup and dug out a dress from the back of my wardrobe. I borrowed a handbag from my mum and popped on my nude flatforms (ASOS).


The dress is one I’ve had for quite a long time. It’s the Collectif Dolores Doll dress in White Hibiscus print. This one has long sold but you can find similar here. I love the way a the dolores dresses nip you in at the right places and flare out just enough. I actually swapped this dress with another blogger a few years back so didn’t actually “pay” for it. Clothes swaps are a great way to freshen up your wardrobe without spending money but whilst also having a good clear out! Win win win!

For my makeup I went for a more understated look. I went for full coverage matte foundation, light pink blush, a smokey eye with cat flick and a dark nude lip. Oh and as always – a strong brow.

Again with my hair I wanted to give a nod to the vintage vibe of the dress and so curled my already short bette bangs under and pinned the sides back away from my face. I did this both so I didn’t get too warm and also to add some volume. I let the rest of my hair hang down my back and finished it with some pretty cream clips.


As I said previously, I had such a good time at this wedding. It was a beautiful day with an intimate ceremony then on to a stunning venue for the rest of the day/night and I felt comfortable in both settings in my outfit choice. My dress wore well and I felt confident all day!

Both days were both wonderful and I felt great in both outfits and got a lot of compliments. I think for me it was good to see that I could shop my wardrobe as needed and give an old dress a new outing.

Either way, I don’t think it would of mattered what I wore (within reason). The day wasn’t about me – it was about those two couples dedicating their love to each other and standing up in front of their friends and family and saying that this is the person I want to spend every day with for the rest of my life. And really, even Collectif dresses aren’t quite as beautiful as that.

Thanks for reading, let me know below which outfit you preferred!
Hannah xx

baby · parenting · plus size

Scarred for life – My c-section story.

Hi all!

I’ve always been a fan of literature and reading, and one of my favourite all time quotes is from Dickens “A Tale Of Two Cities” which reads –

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way”

To me, this has always spoken of happiness and joy in one hand in comparison to sorrow and despair in the other – and that’s exactly how I feel about my c-section. I’ve not told this story online before and it might be triggering talking about medical talk and PTSD etc so please don’t read this if it may upset you.

If you read my last post, I was ready in hospital to have my section and had been kept in for days beforehand ready for the birth on Tuesday. Tuesday came around and Adam and our mums turned up bright and early as I was scheduled to be going into theatre at 8AM. The doctors had cleared their diaries and decided that I would be their priority for the morning to ensure a safe delivery for my baby.

8AM rolled around and the doctors still hadn’t came to get me and so I waited patiently in my room with my family getting more and more nervous and anxious about the upcoming procedure. Finally, just after 9 the doctors came and everybody took me down to the delivery suite where I would be going after surgery and we had a quick discussion about what would be happening. I was then quickly whisked into a tiny room to start the epidural process to numb me in preparation for surgery. We were all crammed in the smallest room and it was boiling hot – the sweat was rolling off me. I was asked to sit on the table bend forward whilst a doctor attempted to get a needle into my back. After almost an hour of him trying, I was crying in pain and asked for a break to which he snapped back at me “well I don’t get a break”. This was the start of his negative attitude, and sadly not the last. Eventually he got the needle where he thought he wanted it and he asked if i thought it felt central and I said no, but he left it anyway. They took so long with the needle because they wanted to leave it in my back for extra pain relief the next day (which never got used).

It was then time to go into theatre and have my baby. The doctor who had put my epidural in was spraying me with cold spray down my side and asking if I could feel it, to which I was saying yes I can. I could feel it up until my hips but not after that. I kept telling him I could feel it but he didn’t seem to believe me and said I could feel the pressure when I was telling him I could feel the cold.


I was laid down on the bed and the sheet went up right in front of my face and I knew it was time. I was still being sprayed with cold spray and feeling it and so the doctor started pumping me full of drugs. From the first touch of the scalpel on my stomach, I felt everything. I felt like I was actually going to die. I was crying in pain as they burned me to cauterize the skin and made cuts to get to my womb. I was then told I would feel a little bit of pressure as they delivered Eleanor, but as I wasn’t numbed properly it felt like they were scooping my insides out. I was still crying and telling them it hurt but all the doctor would do was spray me and give me more painkillers. I was so thankful for Adam being there to hold me, reassure me and sing to me to try and calm me down. Finally, at 11:36 on 13/10/2015 she was born and I laid there whilst Adam held her and they stitched me up.


Finally I got to hold my baby girl and I was so happy that she had arrived and was healthy. The doctors put her onto my chest for skin to skin contact as I’d requested and wheeled me into the post op room with her snoozing on me. From there we went back to the labour ward and our mums got to meet Eleanor and that’s as much as I really remember.


After that the day is a huge blur till the evening when I was filled in on the days events. Due to the amount of painkillers in my system, I actually stopped breathing twice as opiates suppress the respiratory system. I don’t remember any of this obviously as I was out of it, but this was quite terrifying for my family – in particular my brother who walked into the room as a team of doctors were running in to make me breathe again.


(Me when I was out of it)

When I came back around in the evening I was quite aware that I couldn’t feel my legs.I hadn’t expected this and so I was quite alarmed. Without having the use of my legs it was really hard to move myself on the bed – even more so as I had wires etc connected to me. The sheets were quite soggy with my sweat and so the nurses decided to change them with me still in the bed which was hard considering I couldn’t move. The nurses went to find a couple of people to help change the sheets with me still on the bed and at this point the doctor who had the bad attitude with me previously and who had given me too many drugs popped in to see I was okay and got roped into helping change my sheets. After the sheets were changed and I had been repositioned into a comfier position, the doctor then remarked that he wished he hadn’t bothered coming to see me and left again. Once again this upset me and left a negative feeling on what was supposed to be one of the best days of my life.




Seeing as I was out of it all day, I missed quite a lot of time bonding with Eleanor and I was really upset about this. Adam was there through it all though and dressed her, changed her, held her and was so wonderful with her and so hands on from the first moment. He was so supportive with me even though he knew how distressed I was and somehow made it all better. I’ll never forget him sleeping on the uncomfortable blue sofa and refusing to leave my side till the morning when he went home, changed and brought me breakfast as I’d had nothing since the Monday night. I was feeling a lot better by the Wednesday morning after having some breakfast yet once again it was ruined by the staff who then piled into my room (around 8-10 of them) and proceeded to lecture me about my weight and tell me I would be dead within ten years if I didn’t lose weight after my pregnancy. Once again, what was supposed to be a lovely blessed time was tainted by lectures on my weight and talking about things not even related to my baby.

At the time I did know I needed to lose weight. I had been watching what I ate and working out before I got pregnant and barely gained during (I actually lost weight at first) and had every intention of getting back on track when Eleanor arrived – but they didn’t ask me about any of this and they just presumed I was going to go home and eat blocks of cheese dipped in butter.

I was also told I wasn’t allowed to breastfeed unless supervised because I have sleep apnea and they thought I would crush the baby with the weight of my breasts if I dropped off which meant I had to learn to pump and then bottle feed which was a chore and took twice as long to feed. I only lasted 5 weeks of not being able to pump enough, or pumping for hours through the night and then leaking when I didn’t need to pump. It was a nightmare and quite frankly put too much pressure on me. I had it drummed into me that breast was best and breastfed babies go further in life etc etc but in the end I was just happy to have a baby with a full tummy.


By the middle of day two I had enough feeling left in my legs and decided to get up and sit in the chair as I was sick of the bed. It was then that I found out that my pressure dressing for my c-section scar wasn’t stuck on me properly and was sticking my thighs to my stomach rather than being stuck to my under stomach. This meant that every time I wanted to stand up or move, I had to unstick the bandage from myself before I could go anywhere and it got very tedious.


I soon got into the swing of caring for Eleanor and kept trying to express colostrum and they wanted me to go home on the Thursday, however I had wanted some more help with breastfeeding and expressing and so I stayed another night. For some reason I was never moved to the post-labour ward and stayed in the actual labour ward and so never got to have the new baby photos and almost got forgotten about. One day I got trapped in a chair and pulled the buzzer but nobody came for over twenty minutes whilst my baby cried and I couldn’t get to her. I had been sitting in a reclining chair with my legs up (to stop blood clots) pumping milk and didn’t have the strength to actually push the leg part back in and push the chair back up to get out. I ended up using every ounce of strength I had and throwing myself off the chair almost sideways to get out of the chair and get to Eleanor who was so distressed by this point. I understand nurses are busy and there’s births going on, but I was so panicked and desperate after being left so long – it was awful.


Finally the day came to leave and I was happy to be going home. There was some wonderful nurses on the labour ward, but most of the higher staff had been less than kind to me and I was ready to come home and get on with motherhood. Despite being told by staff that they thought I would need “extra help”(which I never have – I do the majority of the caring for our child and manage just fine), I was ready to get home and get into a proper routine with Eleanor. Adam came for me after work and I packed up my bits and got Eleanor ready in her car seat and we were ready to go. Later I would find out I wasn’t discharged properly and no paperwork or medical notes were sent to my doctors, no follow up diabetic appointments were made for me and I had to chase up getting medical stockings which I should of been discharged with. I really did feel forgotten about. It was quite annoying because I had to get prescriptions for medication from my doctors, but they hadn’t sent any paperwork over to my doctors so I had to call the doctors who then had to fax the information over before I could request my medication and make postnatal appointments.

I know that I have complained in this post, and really I shouldn’t complain about the NHS because it IS a free service and they do wonderful, incredible work every day but unfortunately I had a bad experience with them with things going wrong (which can’t be helped) which coupled with the fat-shaming and constant negativity about my weight – it all left a bad taste in my mouth.

A few weeks after I left the hospital I came back to have a meeting with a consultant as I complained about how the doctor treat me and how the procedure went in general and after I explained my story he admitted that they used the incorrect technique in my back and they should’ve used a shunt instead and he couldn’t understand why one wasn’t used. I said I understood I was a difficult patient and am aware how overweight I am yet he admitted that I’m not much bigger than the majority of the women coming through his doors and that his staff don’t have enough training on plus sized mothers. He assured me he was going to look into more training and research for plus sized pregnancies. I then brought up the way the doctor had treat me and how he refused to believe that I wasn’t numb which resulted in me feeling the whole operation. I explained that from the first moment he had a bad attitude and the consultant told me he was actually known to have a bad attitude and that was just how he is. Okay, there’s having an attitude but when a person is in the most vulnerable position they can be in – you really don’t need somebody having a negative attitude or making you feel upset. It’s really shitty and I felt like nothing and nobody would help me when I was going through the worst experience of my life.

This post has taken me a lot to write. Bringing it all up and re-living it all is so triggering to me and I’ve taken weeks to write this in tiny pieces as I’ve had to put it down and walk away and reassure myself. Since my section I have accessed counselling and have been diagnosed with having PTSD. I still have nightmares (thankfully not as frequently as they were) and I wake up crying, screaming, talking in my sleep, grabbing Adam or getting trapped in dreams. I dream about members of my family being trapped in medical situations, or I dream that I’m being chased by medical staff. I dream that Eleanor is getting taken away from me because I’m not good enough or that people are tearing at my flesh and worse things that I can’t even write about right now. I’m quite agoraphobic and I’m quite scared of being outside on my own and I’m working on building myself back up and building up my confidence. I still find it hard to watch medical scenes on TV and I can’t go to the doctors alone but that’s okay because I’m not perfect – I’m a work in progress and I will get there one day.

I really hope that one day I will be able to have another child. Right now I don’t think I could put myself through it again physically or emotionally because I’m still healing, but I really want Eleanor to have a sibling. Maybe I’ll never have another biological child and maybe I’ll go down the route of adopting which has always been a dream of mine – but not right now. Right now I want to enjoy my beautiful baby girl and grow with her. She inspires me every day and is the reason I get out of bed and go along with my day. Throughout my anxiety and PTSD, she is that one shining beacon of hope that gets me through and when I feel like I’m fighting against the current and drowning, she gives me the strength to pull my head above the water and keep on trying.

They say that time heals all wounds and love conquers all, and I hope that this is true. I hope that one day my c-section will be a white faded scar and a distant memory and memories of my beautiful family will slowly push the negative thoughts away and replace them with nothing but positives. I know I’m not there right now but I have so many hopes for the future. As Eleanor grows – as will I.

I hope this hasn’t been a too “woe is me” post and in no way am I looking for sympathy – I’m just a plus sized mum telling her story and trying to open up in the hopes of helping others and breaking down the stigma around PTSD.

Thanks for reading,

Hannah x

baby · fashion · food · parenting · plus size · review

Bears at Butlins! – Our family holiday. Part 3!

Hi all!

So finally here comes the final post about my time in Butlins which is part 3! (Part1 and Part 2 are also available to read.)

Day 4

On day 4 we decided the weather looked alright again and so decided to head out for the day to Fantasy Island which I was keen to go to as I loved it as a child.


We got ready, threw on our shorts for a sunny day and headed for breakfast whilst we decided how we would get there. After the bus issues the day before – we decided to drive.


We drove to Fantasy Island which was around 5 minutes away from Butlins and I felt a huge wave of nostalgia hit me. Even though it had gotten so much bigger in size and had tons more shops and cafes, so much of it was the same and I instantly recognised some of the rides as ones from my childhood. They still had the log flume I loved, the spinning ride my brother one fell out of, the magic carpet ride I used to go on with my dad and the indoor flume which stained mine and my cousins matching white trousers. Some rides, such as the indoor  rollercoaster which seemed so big and fast when I was younger now seemed so tiny. It was at this moment that I realised I had now taken the place of my parents and was actually the adult – what a scary feeling!


We weren’t that bothered about going on the actual rides, and I was quite sore from pushing the pram which I grew to hate over the holiday so we didn’t go around all the shops and stalls – there were thousands there! We did pick up some good items though, such as wax tarts for our candle burner and most importantly – we found Eleanor the perfect Christening gown. My mum had wanted to go shopping for it with me and I’m sad that we didn’t get to have that experience but the second I saw the dress in the window I knew it was everything I was looking for. My mum really wanted to buy her dress so I called her and explained and she was happy to still buy the dress.Thankfully she loved it as much as I do when she saw it.


After a good look around, a few games in the amusements (I won a teddy on hook a duck!) and our dress purchase, it was time to feed Eleanor and so we popped into a diner where we decided to grab a dessert whilst we fed her. Adam settled on a jumbo ice cream (not realising the sheer size of it at the time) and as what I wanted was sold out I decided I’d just have a few spoons of his. Well I’m glad we shared because it was absolutely huge! It had numerous different flavours of ice cream, cream, sauce, wafers, flakes and even spiral wafers – Adam was sad he had to share.


After a slow walk back to the car we headed back to the site and back to our room to pick up swimming costumes. We headed to splash which was pretty quiet and had our last go in the swimming pools. We went on our favourite lazy river and found the wave pool for the first time which was fun and which Eleanor really enjoyed.


We went for dinner a little earlier than we were used to as we were hoping to head to the Aladdin Rocks show afterward which we heard would be busy. Busy was an understatement! We only JUST got in and there was no tables so I asked people for spare chairs so we could at least sit! The show was amazing and had just enough adventure and sparkle for the kids mixed with enough smutty jokes and puns for the parents. After the show we had our final few games in the arcades and headed back to make sure we were all set for the morning (Adam had already packed most of the clothes whilst me and Eleanor had an afternoon nap) so there wasn’t much to do. We’re the kinds of people who pack as we go so we don’t have loads to do at checking out time – that way we can be relaxed and we don’t leave stuff.

Day 5

On the Friday we woke at our usual time and got little bear sorted with her morning bottle whilst we pottered around. We got ourselves dressed and started filling the car so we could leave after breakfast so we would hit her naptime as we were driving. We had our last breakfast and walk around the complex and even looked at prices for next year – I think we’d stay in an apartment next time for more space and so we had place to have drinks/food in the room.


Leaving Butlins was sad. That place holds so many precious childhood memories for me – it’s almost like a little piece of me is there. Butlins is where my family was happiest, and where me and cousins bonded and grew up together and where I started to hate UB40 (after dad continuously played it on a loop driving there/back. My parents have broken up now and so it was strange for me to go back to a place where we were such a “together” unit and such a typical family. I also have a grandad and another family member who I have so many fond memories of at Butlins.

As I walked around the park it was so bittersweet to remember the happy times, the people who we had loved and lost and the old memories following me around and mixing with the new memories I was making with my child. I was surreal to think of her taking it in for the first time as I had once taken in the excitement for the first time, but even more surreal that I wasn’t 5 years old anymore, I was 25 years old and the tiny child I had been pushing around all week was my own.

I definitely want to come back to Butlins and keep making memories with my family. For value for money, fun and entertainment I really rate Butlins. There’s always something going on for people of all ages and the staff are so kind and helpful and really make your trip worthwhile. I can’t wait to return.

Here’s to making memories.

Hannah, Adam
& Eleanor x

baby · fashion · parenting · plus size

Bears at Butlins! – Our family holiday. Part 2!

Hi All!

This post is a follow on post from Part 1 of our holiday adventure!

Day Two!


This was our first morning at Butlins and we woke early and made our plans for the day. We decided we were going to walk down to breakfast and then from there head to baby friendly messy play. The day was super warm and so I dressed for the occasion in some old ASOS Curve shorts and a cream tank top from Taking Shape which I bought in their closing down sale.


 Breakfast wasn’t too busy and we had plenty of choices of where to sit again.


Again it was a mix of being served and self serve. We grabbed juice, hot breakfasts and some pastries which were all great. The only downside is there wasn’t really any breakfast selections for Eleanor. We were told Ella’s kitchen pouches were included but they didn’t do anything suitable for breakfast such as porridge so she had her bottle accompanied by a fruit pouch. We actually found it really hard to feed Eleanor as there was so much going on and people constantly interacting with her which is normally lovely but when you’re trying to feed a very distracted baby it gets VERY frustrating. There’s no way to politely say “please stop talking to my child” so we just smiled and waited patiently for people to kinda leave us be.

The Ella’s kitchen pouches were great but really the meal times we had didn’t really go with the times she actually eats. We originally thought we’d just get the pouches and take them out but they were behind a glass cabinet and then they would remove the lids. I got lucky when I asked for some after Adam had and managed to keep the lids on so we would put the lids on the pouches we were given and pocket them for later when Eleanor was somewhere distraction free and it was in her routine time to eat. We only ever took enough for the next meal so that we could actually get something into her (and in the end we asked the manager if it was okay and he said it was fine to take them at the end of service) – but I get the idea that people have probably abused the free pouches in the past and took tons home to live off.


After breakfast we headed over to messy play in a little building which was extremely hard to find and quite a trek away. It seemed like most of the activities were for older children which was to be expected but Eleanor really enjoyed this activity centre – especially that fish which she chewed on for a good twenty minutes.

After messy play we headed back to our room so Eleanor could have a nap and we just hung out and played cards and enjoyed each others companies. The only problem was that they were doing maintenance work around the park which was quite loud and so I rang customer services and they sent a message round to ask workmen to try and take their lunch around 12ish when Eleanor usually naps. I know you can’t expect workmen to completely stop for you, but I also didn’t expect so much work to be going on right next to my room whilst I was on holiday and whilst it didn’t particularly bother me, I was thinking of Eleanor who was napping and would be in a horrible mood if she didn’t manage to nap.


After a nap and some lunch we decided to take Eleanor out again to explore the swimming baths. I don’t remember much about the swimming baths when I used to go as a child apart from I really loved it and used to beg to go. I remember a “space bowl” being built there but I was always too small to go on it. We walked through the pavilion to reach it and as soon as I saw the floating tap I had the biggest wave of nostalgia wash over me! The swimming baths has great facilities with a convenient pram park, plenty of  lockers, big family change stalls with flip down baby change tables and tons of showers.

Inside the actual swimming area was incredible. It has tons of slides, a baby pool, outside pool, wave pool, lazy river, cave, another large pool with jets and a huge jacuzzi. We had loads of fun, in particular in the lazy river. We went round with Eleanor in her swim ring and me and Adam floating along with her. The swimming was always super busy but we went 3 days in a row and really enjoyed it every time.

After swimming we went back to our room so Eleanor could have her afternoon nap and we got ourselves ready for the evening. Dinner was another random put it together dinner but again it was enough for us and I particularly enjoyed the jacket potatoes.


We decided to go check our one of the bars with entertainment on after we’d eaten and that’s when the nostalgia well and truly hit me! The different levels of seating, the kids bar with toys and slushes, the little shop with hundreds of different light up items and tiaras etc! It was only missing the cheap tinsel wigs I adored so much as a child and I’d of been back in the nineties.


I think we managed to grab the last table in the place and we had a drink and listened to some music whilst the kids disco was still playing between shows. We left not long after this and played in the arcades, bought more drinks for the room and headed back as Eleanor was flat out.


I thought the early nights would bother me being on holiday but really I enjoyed spending lots of time with Adam having a laugh in the room and drinking bottles of smirnoff ice. We planned that the next day we would get ourselves ready and head out into Skegness to check our the pier and seafront – we would later regret this!

Day Three!


On day three we got up and dressed and this time we gave Eleanor her morning bottle in the room with no distractions which means she actually drank it down and was in a much better mood through breakfast. We dressed her for a sunny day at the beach but little did we know it absolutely poured down.

We had our breakfast, had a little play of bingo in the arcades whilst we waited for the bus and then we hopped onto a very packed bus to Skegness seafront. The bus was so quick and easy to use and it went from inside Butlins right to the seafront. Unfortunately we had only been there when it started raining – and it only got heavier and heavier. We wandered around the shops but they were mainly just full of tat and so we hit the arcades for a couple of hours and checked out the huge arcade on the pier which just kept going and going. With the rain, all the fish and chip stands which we’d planned to get lunch from were closed so we ended up in the only place open – one very packed McDonalds. We probably could of walked back into the shops end and find somewhere but it was throwing it down and Eleanor was shouting for food and we’d of gotten drenched. This was also the time we tried to use the raincover on the cheap stroller we bought and just couldn’t get it on/to stay on.


After a bite to eat we ran over the road and tried to get a bus back. We soon found out the bus we got there wasn’t as frequent as we had been told and we waited a long time – so long that we ended up getting another bus which stopped a fair walk away from the park which we had to face in the rain whilst avoiding huge pot holes. It’s safe to say we were quite fed up – and wet – by this point.

We finally got back to the park and we popped into “The Front Room” to feed Eleanor again and to shelter from the heavy rain. There was a delicious looking range of cakes and they did reasonable deals with hot drinks and a cake but we just weren’t hungry. I wish I’d of popped back but I totally forgot – same with the ice cream shop! Adam went and collected our bits and pieces and we went for an afternoon swim to have fun after what had been such a bad day…we soon had a great time again!


After a nice hot shower to warm us all up and some fresh clothes, we were out again.


This night I decided to wear my Alice & You playsuit I bought from eBay for a bargain price. Although it’s shorts,the long sleeves and thick jersey fabric make it perfect for an evening. It’s so comfortable and soft that I felt happy in it all night.


My hair wasn’t quite all dry so I popped it up in some cute buns and decided one again that I just couldn’t be bothered with makeup.IMG_1081

After another pic ‘n’ mix tea we decided to check out the skyline gang show which Eleanor loved and we actually really enjoyed.


We even got to meet the members at the end and Eleanor and Adam had their picture taken with Bud. Eleanor fell asleep really early so instead of heading back right away we played in the arcades for an hour or so and went and bought yet more lemon flavoured alcoholic drinks – this time in the form of Hooch!


The rain finally stopped and we had a nice stroll back to the room whilst Eleanor woke up ready for her night time bottle before sleep. We popped her to bed, relaxed with our drinks and decided where to head the next day. I thought that heading back early on a night was going to do my head in but it was nice keeping her in a routine and then having the alone time with Adam.

So that takes us to Wednesday night! I’ll be popping up one more post of the last of our Holiday so keep your eye out for that!

Hannah, Adam & Eleanor x